


Wild Things

by DrDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But not really at all, Case Fic, Coming Out, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Misunderstandings, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:16:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrDestiel/pseuds/DrDestiel
Summary: A simple case on a campus in California to clear the tension after Cas' dying declaration. Things are never simple for the Winchesters though and soon Dean and Cas find themselves at the mercy of an unknown force that nudges them in the right direction. They are powerless to resist it and it falls to Sam, Mary, and Eileen to save them- even if they don't want to be saved.





	1. Restless

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a short story. Then, much like what the boys face in this story- it got away from me.  
> Rating for later chapters.

There have been reports of strange things happening in the Lowell house, a fraternity, on the campus of a sleepy town in California and it sounded like the perfect case after the week they’d just had.

“So, get this…” Sam starts after suffering through yet another awkward family breakfast.

Dean pauses his fork mid-air and gives Sam his attention telling him to “go on” by raising his eyebrows.

Cas keeps staring into his coffee cup but is scowling just a little less than before- and that's a huge improvement by his standards.

Mary smiles weakly at her youngest son and his ability to always keep his head in the game. She finds herself wondering what that kind of drive could have accomplished out in the real world for the millionth time since she has been back.

Sam clears his throat and keeps going “I think I found us a case. Simple salt and burn. Some strange occurrences at a frat house out in California.”

“California? I don’t know Sam. Now isn’t really a good time to go that far away from home base. Shit is coming down the pike and we should get ready.” Dean grumbles unhappily and shoves the rest of his bacon in his mouth chewing angrily.

“What kind of occurrences?” Cas asks a little intrigue showing on his almost blank face.

“Oh -you know the usual. Temperature fluctuations- really cold spots and then their fireplace had an explosion that landed a guy in the hospital. Weird sounds coming from the bathrooms. Sounds pretty straightforward.” Sam says trying to get some interest. A simple case could be just what they needed. Get some frustration out- kick some ass and get back to normal.

“Do you have any suspects lined up from your computer thing?” Mary asks looking quizzically at the tablet in front of Sam.

“No, there aren’t really any good leads. No real information about the place’s history which is why I think we should go out there- check it out and stop it before anyone dies. I mean how often do we get to do that? “Sam knows that will likely get Dean’s attention but he regrets saying it as Mary winces slightly assuming he is taking a dig at her over Wally.

“I don’t know Sammy. Sounds pretty thin- all of that could be explained. Normal old building stuff.” Dean says taking a swig of his black coffee and tilting his head giving Sam a skeptical look.

“Not the fire- it’s a wood burning fireplace- no gas. The guy is in pretty bad shape. The witnesses say he was just adding another log when the fire shot out nearly 10 feet. Got the curtains across the room too.” Sam says talking faster as the excitement built a little- Dean was definitely interested now.

“Aah what the hell. It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.” Dean reluctantly gives in. He stands and walks his plate and cup to the sink.

“Mom you in?” Sam asks using his best puppy dog eyes.

“Come on Sam- it’s a salt and burn. No need to take everyone.” Dean grouses from the sink his back is rigid, he still hasn’t forgiven Mary for lying to them and nearly getting Cas killed.

“It could be a poltergeist- we should all go.” Cas pipes up looking determined. He does not wish to get left behind, he needs to remind the brothers, especially Dean, that he is not fragile.

“Whatever. We leave in 5.” Dean barks as he leaves the kitchen to go grab the duffle that he still hasn’t unpacked from their last hunt. He tries not to think about anything that went down. He is pretty sure killing his mother after God’s sister brought her back to life would get him in trouble.

Sam smiles at his mother across the table. He knows Dean is just trying to come to terms with Mary lying to them and the fact that Cas almost died- again.  
Mostly the Cas part. Mary doesn’t really get how that would have ruined Dean. He is pretty sure Dean doesn’t get it either. His brother is really good at pretending that things are fine when they're not. He knows it will take him a while to process those emotions and deal with the fallout, but hiding in his room from all of them is not helping. Getting out on the road, some shitty diner food and a simple case would go a long way, he is sure of it.

“I will meet you in the garage.” Cas says and goes down the hall. He is determined to be an asset on the case. He will protect the Winchesters- all of them. He has to show Dean that he can take care of himself. He knows Dean is worried about him- he usually takes a while to feel right about hunting with Cas after a near-death situation. Cas has figured this out about him over the years, he does it with Sam too and that makes more sense to Castiel. He is an angel, most of the times he has died it was under extraordinary conditions: Satan, Leviathan, April- he was human then. He doesn’t understand how Dean- a fragile human can feel so protective over a wavelength of celestial intent that has been around for actual millennia. He just knows that things will not return to normal until he can show Dean that he is able to handle himself in a dangerous situation. And he knows Dean heard his confession. He knows Dean understood his confession. He needs Dean to know that it doesn’t have to change anything.

Mary makes it to the car first, she puts her bag in the trunk and runs her hand over the roof delicately. She loves this car and all the fond memories of her and John in it. Now filed alongside memories of her hunting with her grown-up sons and their Angel. She smiles at the unexpected turns life takes as she settles in the back seat.

                                                             -------------------------------------------------------

The air is tense, much like the bunker has been the last few days only now it's concentrated. Metallica blears over the speakers and Dean is clenching and unclenching his jaw as he steers the Impala down the highway. He hates I-70 so he stayed on 36, it adds to the drive but it avoids the major population centers which is always good. He turns off on 24 to avoid Denver and starts feeling tired after Colorado Springs. 

  
“Let's pull over here for the night, we can get back at it in the morning.” He announces as he pulls the car into a sandy lot of some ski themed motel sporting a bright neon sign with half the letters blacked out.

  
_Home, sweet home_ he thinks as he walks into to dingy office to get two rooms.

  
Walking back to the car he starts feeling wrong about letting Cas bunk with Mary. He knows she didn’t actually _intend_ for him to almost die, but he can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t trust her with him. Not thinking about it any more than that he blurts out:“Your key. Cas is bunking with me.” As he tosses the other key to Sam.

  
“Come on Buddy let’s get some shut eye.” He says to Cas and turns sharply for the room not bothering to explain anything to Sam’s bewildered face.

  
Sam is frowning at the retreating forms of his brother and Castiel when Mary slaps him on the shoulder bringing him back to earth.

“I’m sure it’s me and not you Sam.” Mary smiles at him with her lips stretched thin and hurt in her eyes.

  
“Um, yeah sorry. I’m not sure what he’s thinking but you shouldn’t take it too personally. It’s just that it was _Cas_.” Sam blurts out without meaning to. He shakes his head and slings his duffle onto his shoulder and starts for their room.

  
Mary follows her son trying to figure out what she is missing here. She knows Dean cares about Castiel, she saw that when she met him. That hug they had shared had spoken volumes; of trust, affection and years of loyalty. She had come to care for the Angel too, its’ not like she meant for him to get hurt. Or anyone to at that. _Wally_.

_Shit, she needs to make it right._

  
Cas moves over to the far bed and sets his bag down still slightly puzzled that Dean chose to share a room with him. He is trying not to read into it, he can’t make this mean something if it doesn’t. Before he can voice a question about it Dean speaks up.

  
“Sorry man. I just… I don’t like the thought of you alone. With her.” He turns his back to Cas before he gets the last part out.

  
“You think your mother is a danger to me? Dean, I can assure you that I can take care of myself. Mary is a skilled hunter but I am an Angel.” Castiel says with some venom in his voice.

He had- for one shining moment, thought that maybe Dean wanted to spend time with him. Maybe talk about the elephant in the room. _But no_. Dean was still working through his perceived failure at protecting Cas.

 _Like he needed Dean to keep him safe_.

His emotions started boiling- the disappointment of Dean not intending this to mean something combined with Dean beating himself up over not protecting him was too much.

  
“Cas, she almost got you killed! I can’t just get over that!” Dean almost shouted as he turned to face Castiel. His face was plaintive, begging Castiel to understand that Dean needed to keep those he cared about, his family, safe.

  
“I didn’t die! I am fine Dean! And I am right HERE! Stop treating me like I will break!” Cas moved closer as he yelled and was standing right in front of Dean. They were staring at each other neither one prepared to back off. Anger rolled off Castiel as he stared into the green eyes that haunted him.

He wanted to smite Dean Winchester.

  
_God, he is beautiful when he’s pissed_   Dean thought. And before his brain had a chance to examine that piece of information his body thought it would be perfectly acceptable to lean forward and _kiss Castiel!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I stay up and finish the next chapter?
> 
> But seriously- feedback is always motivating and I will be working on this for the next bit since I have some free time! ;)


	2. As You Were

Deans lips are soft. Softer than Castiel has imagined. And he _has_ imagined.

He was startled when Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips against his- he thought they were getting ready to throw punches. It took him less than a second to redirect that pent-up energy into kissing back. And it was the closest to flying he has been in months.

Dean is _kissing_ Castiel. Angel of the Lord. His best friend. He hadn’t even planned on this- it just happened. One second he was yelling at him and then next he was pushing his lips against those perpetually chapped ones he had been staring at for years. _Fuck if it wasn’t good too_.

_He never thought it would actually happen- it’s been almost a decade and he thought he’d missed his shot._

Castiel is surprisingly good at this whole business. His mouth was still at first but then it was like a switch got flipped and Dean’s world was sent spinning. He moves his lips in perfect tandem to Dean’s, presses forward just hard enough _and God_ when he sucked Dean’s bottom lip into his mouth- Dean moaned. Honest to God, bad porno- _moaned_.

Dean’s moan gives Cas just the window he needed to slip his tongue into the other man’s mouth and he swears he hears a growl. He isn’t sure if it came from him or the man now wrapped up in his arms. His tongue gently swipes along the roof of Dean’s mouth and then Dean pushes his own tongue into action. And it's everything.

They stand there in the middle of the room kissing- like one of them just came back from the war, when there is a loud knock at the door. And it shatters their cocoon.

“Dean. Open up or I’m picking the lock. We need to talk.” Sam yells from outside.

 He thought he heard them fighting in there and it just pisses him off more. Dean has been acting like an ass since they got back from their last hunt and Sam can’t take it anymore. Dean needs to get over his shit.

Dean jumps back startled out of the moment by Sam’s yelling.

_Shit._

_Fuck_.

He was kissing Cas like it was normal. Like it was something _they_ did _. What the fuck?_

 He just stands there heaving in the air that he has been neglecting in favor of lips and tongue and … _fuck._

Castiel takes in the look of sheer horror on Dean’s face as he stands there staring at him with wide eyes breathing heavily, looking for all the world like he was about to have a panic attack. It hurts. He was recently stabbed by the sword of Michael- and this hurts more than that. The way Dean is looking at him. Like _he_ just made Dean do something unthinkable. Something shameful.

 He frowns at Dean and says; “I will be in the bathroom.”  And walks past Dean, deliberately shoving him a little as he walks by and slams the door closed. Dean can have his gay panic but Cas didn’t need to bear witness. He will never understand humanity’s need to classify and label everything. To set rules and boundaries on something as pure and dynamic as love. It was folly.

He needed a shower.

“What the hell Dean. First, you upset Mom and now you’re yelling at Cas? What is your problem?” Sam demands as he storms into the room pushing past a still shocked Dean.

“Mom is crying in the bathroom. She’s trying to hide it but these walls are thin. Look I get that you’re still pissed about the whole BMOL thing and… Cas, obviously. It’s just- how long are you going to keep punishing her?” Sam asks looking up at Dean from his seat at the foot of Cas’ bed.

“What? Seriously?” Dean manages to get out, his brain feels like it was going warp speed and then hit a galactic speed bump bringing it to a screeching halt.

_Was Cas angry? What just happened. Why the fuck was the moose here yelling about Mom?_

Christ, he needed to sit down.

Dean stumbles over to the dinette set and plunks down leaning forward, face in his hands. He takes a deep slightly shaky breath. His nerves are still on fire.

“Why are you here?” he asks without looking at his brother. He is still thinking about chapped lips and feels a flush threatening to creep up his neck.

“Mom. Dude, are you listening?” Sam gives Dean his frowning face that simultaneously says, “are you for real?” and “are you ok?”.

“What about her?” Dean asks starting to get over the system-wide shock of _kissing Cas_ and being interrupted by his nosey brother. _Fucking siblings_.

“You hurt her feelings- with the whole room thing man, it wasn’t exactly subtle. She and Cas always bunk together, they’ve bonded you know. It’s not like she _meant_ for him to get hurt Dean.” Sam is looking at him trying his best to make his brother see reason here. They have _all_ fucked up.  

“I know that! I mean, in my head I know that. It’s just … seeing him like that, again. I just-“Dean drops his head, he can’t finish the thought without his voice shaking and giving away too much. He can’t watch Cas die – not again, not after what he said. _Not after_ -

“I get it, Dean, I feel the same. He’s like the brother we always needed man. He’s family. But so is Mom, and you can’t keep punishing her for this.” Sam says softly, watching Dean for any signs that he’s reaching him. Seconds tick by and only the sound of Cas in the shower fills the room.

“Yeah, you’re right. We gotta get past this. We’re gonna need to trust each other with what’s coming. I just, I might need time okay? I feel like she needs to see how important Cas is, I need her to _get it_. He isn’t expendable. She needs to know that before I can trust her again.” Dean says and he looks so _sober_ that it scares Sam a little.

He knows Dean cares about Cas, he has been around them for years- they have a connection that is unlike anything he has ever encountered. He knows their relationship is _different_. It’s not every day someone saves you from Hell, and then defies Heaven for you. He gets it. They have a… _what was it Cas had called it?_ “Profound bond”. But something in Dean’s eyes speaks of a deeper truth. Something Sam hadn’t noticed before, something he can’t name. It’s primal. Raw. And he suddenly feels a little uncomfortable.

The shower turns off then and he is brought back to himself.

“So, what are you two fighting about? “he nods in the direction of the bathroom.

“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” Dean’s mask slips back on and he closes himself off again with a practiced ease.

“Ok, well whatever. Just go easier on Mom ok. And stop using Cas as an emotional punching bag. The guys’ had a rough go of it.” Sam says standing and walking over to the door.

“Shut up.” Dean grouses leaning down to grab a beer from his cooler.

Cas comes out of the bathroom before Sam has the door open. A cloud of steam follows him as he stomps over to his bag and tosses his dirty clothes into his open duffle.

He is wearing a towel wrapped around his tapered waist. _Just a towel_.

Dean’s reaction is beyond his control as he swallows thickly, staring unapologetically at the wide expanse of tan, wet flesh on Cas’ back. He watches as his muscles roll under his smooth skin. _Fuck_.

“Hey, Cas, if he keeps being an ass you’re welcome to the couch in our room,” Sam says as he finally leaves, the door clicking closed behind him.

Cas just keeps getting ready for bed his back still turned to Dean.

Dean takes a shaky breath. He needs to say something. _Anything_.

God his pants are getting more uncomfortable by the second and the lack of blood flow to his brain is not helping his synapses.

 _Sam interrupted them_. They had been _kissing._ Heck, they had been making out like teenagers after the prom. It was crazy. Hot. But insane. They don’t do that.

  _But they did_. And it was fucking amazing.

And Dean needs to say something, or do something. No, no _doing_. He is pretty sure that way lies badness. _Shit_.

It’s been long enough for the silence to get awkward. _Really awkward_ and he's still staring at Cas like a pervert.

“Cas. Um. I-“ he gets out and stops, unsure of what to say. Cas still looks like he wants to smite Dean. _Did he misread the situation- did Cas not want him to do that?_

“Dean, stop. I do not wish to hear it. I agree Sam does not need to know. Now I wish to sleep it has been a trying day.” And with that, he gets under his covers and turns off his light.

Dean is left utterly confused. _Did he fuck this up already? Is Cas ashamed of what happened? Of him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter...I know where this story is going if you want to keep reading let me know and I will keep writing!


	3. Pangs

Dean doesn’t sleep that night. He keeps changing positions hoping to get comfortable but he knows that it has very little to do with the lumpy mattress. It has everything to do with the man in the other bed. The man who has been by his side for eight years. _Jesus it’s been that long?_ The man who keeps saving him. The man who sacrifices everything over and over again for Dean. His best friend. His angel. His…

His what? What are they to each other? He knows Cas loves him. He said so. He knows Cas kissed him back but does that mean what Dean wants it to mean? Was it just a reflex? Does Cas even care about physical stuff? He knows Cas had sex when he was human, but he’s all juiced up again. Does that change things? Why did he seem so angry? Was he just frustrated cause of the whole cockblocking Sam thing?

At 4 am Dean gives up. He gets up and pulls on his clothes and sets out in search of coffee. His exhaustion and frustration swirl around in his gut until it solidifies into a pretty shitty mood.

Cas wakes up when he hears the door close. Dean is probably trying to avoid him. What was it Dean called it “the whole morning thing”. Cas can’t decide if he is pissed at being treated like all his other conquests or if he feels proud of Dean for treating his first male sexual encounter just like all his others. There is a twisted sense of acceptance in there somewhere. He decides on being pissed though. _He isn’t like_ all the others before him. He loves Dean. Dean _knows_ he loves him. Cas feels a sense of gratitude to Sam for interrupting them. If he had let it go where he desperately wanted it to go last night he might have actually harmed the eldest Winchester for dealing with this so poorly. He can “stow it” to quote Dean until they finish the job. After that he might need to take some time away from the Bunker.

Sometime after seven Dean shows up at Sam and Mary’s room with coffee and pastries. He spent a few hours walking around the quiet little town trying to clear his head.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sam asks letting Dean in. He's lived with Dean for most of his life and can recognize the signs, the bags under his eyes, his hunched shoulders and the scowl between his brows.

“Yeah, shitty mattress. I miss the memory foam already.” He lies easily and sits down at the table. Mary is lacing her boots on the couch and shoots him a sheepish look.

“Brought you breakfast. Hope you like your coffee strong – the gas station was the only place open this early” he says looking at Mary. He is determined to try and make things better but he can’t promise it will be easy.

“Thank you, Dean.” Mary walks over and joins her sons at the table. “Where’s Cas?” she wants to show them that she cares about the Angel and asking after him seems like a reasonable place to start. Dean clears his throat and shifts in his chair.

“I guess he’s still sleeping.” He tries for nonchalant and hopes they can’t see his discomfort. He isn’t sure how things are going to be between them now. After…after what happened. He’s been trying not to over think it but so far, he’s failing miserably.

“I’ll go get him, we should probably head out soon.” Sam says heading for the door with a cup of coffee in each hand. Sam is trying to give Dean and Mary some time to talk and he feels like he should check in on Cas after hearing Dean and him go at it last night. He can only guess what it’s about now.

He knocks on the door and Cas tells him to come in. He finds the Angel doing push-ups and from the sweat pooling on his back, he’s been at it for a while.

“Wow Cas, I didn’t know you worked out. This new?” he chuckles a little putting the coffee down on the table. 

Cas stands up and walks over to join Sam. Pulling a t-shirt over his head. “I started exercising when I was human and I find it a good outlet for frustration.” He takes a big gulp of his coffee and feels the warm liquid settle in his stomach. He doesn’t need to eat or drink but he finds something comforting about the caffeinated beverage that he can’t explain. He feels the same about the smell of gun oil, grease and the taste of sugar.

“Frustrated? Dean that bad?” Sam jokes taking a sip of his own coffee.

Cas freezes for a second his mind derailing as he thinks about it. Did Dean tell Sam about what happened? That seems unlikely. “Your brother is nothing if not consistent.” He decides that is both vague and honest enough.

“I hear you. I left him with Mom- I hope he talks to her but I’m not holding my breath.” Sam says shaking his head. “What was he yelling about last night?”

“Nothing new. He is still angry about me almost dying. He is blaming himself.” Cas admits looking down at his hands. He knows Dean doesn’t want Sam to know what happened between them but it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it.

“That sounds like Dean. He’ll get over it. He just needs to work through it. He’s always hard on himself but when it’s someone he loves it's always worse.”

Cas’ eyes shoot up to look at Sam and he regrets it immediately. He’s not good at hiding his feelings it would seem. And Sam was _there_ in the barn. He isn’t stupid.

“You know he loves you right?” Sam says reading the situation perfectly. He was surprised that Cas had said it, not that he felt that way. He has suspected for a few years now. He is pretty sure Dean feels the same way but he’s given up on it going anywhere. They are the two most stubborn sons of bitches he knows. He had hoped Cas confessing might change things.

Before Cas can say anything Dean barges into the room donut hanging from his mouth.

 ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

They hit the road an hour later. Sam is driving, he insisted that Dean try to get some shut-eye. Dean is trying to sleep but he is in the back seat next to Cas who insisted on letting Mary sit in the front with Sam. They’re not quite touching but he can feel the heat coming from the body next to him and he is trying really hard not to lean into it.

Sam and Mary make small talk mostly about the case, floating theories and telling stories of hunts. The car is warm inside, the early sun bright as they drive along the winding highway. Dean slips into unconsciousness a little while later lulled by the voices from the front seat and the gentle rocking of the Impala.

Sam looks in the rear-view mirror and watches as Dean’s head lolls to the side and comes to rest on Castiel’s shoulder. The angel looks down at his brother with a warm, soft smile that barely reaches his mouth but shines from his eyes. Sam smiles to himself and looks away feeling like he is intruding on a private moment. Maybe there is hope for them yet.

Mary takes over driving in Utah after they go through a drive-through. Dean is still asleep now cuddled up against Cas who alternates between soft looks and steely stares out the window. Mary wants to ask Sam if that is normal -if they do that but she doesn’t want to disturb her oldest son. He looks so peaceful, the way she remembers him looking when he was 3 sleeping next to John on the couch downstairs.

Sam drifts in and out of sleep with his face against the window. He thinks they ought to pull over for the night soon and says as much to Mary when they cross the Arizona border. They agree to pull off at the next exit and find some dinner. He suspects Dean is going to be extra grumpy after going all day without food. He is proven right less than 5 minutes later when he hears a grumble coming from the back seat.

“Urghmmh. Wha-…” Dean slowly comes to, he feels relaxed and warm but his neck hurts from sleeping funny. He slowly blinks his eyes open and realizes with a start that he is sprawled out all over Cas in the back seat of the Impala. His face was pressed into his neck and _god he smells good_. He takes a deep breath and the scent hits him right in the groin. He shoots up alarmed by the rush of desire that pools in his gut. He is getting hard.

Cas was enjoying Dean sleeping on him. His body was warm and relaxed in his lap and it felt nice. Cas enjoyed feeling Dean’s breath on his neck and his arm across his lap. He sensed Dean waking up and he froze when he felt Dean smell him- inhaling deeply and seemingly savoring it. What was Dean thinking? Castiel feels so confused- one minute they are kissing then Dean is ignoring him and then he falls asleep on him. Castiel has been hyper-aware of Dean all day. It’s like a punch to the gut when he shoots up and practically pushes up against his door to get as much space between them as possible.

Dean tries to school his features and shits around in his seat to try and get some of the pressure off his unruly dick. He was practically sleeping in the guy’s lap. And Sam and his mother were right there. _Shit_. Cas had seemed to want to pretend like nothing happened between them what was is he said, “Sam doesn’t need to know”. And here he was practically dry humping the guy in the back seat. _Fuck_.

“Well hello sleeping beauty- wanna grab some grub? You kinda slept through lunch there.” Sam chuckles when he spots Dean sitting up.

“Hell yes.” Dean says trying not to look over at Cas, too scared of what he’d see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, its a little short- was stuck without my charger and had to stop writing before my laptop died. Next chapter should be longer and have more progress...that is if you are still interested? Keep those motivational comments coming it fuels the process. ;)


	4. Touched

Deans’ equilibrium is off all through dinner. He can’t look at Cas. He _feels him_ on the bench next to him. Is hyper-focused on him in a way that _can’t_ be subtle. He is aware of every movement, every breath the Angel un needlingly takes. He is trying his best not to combust from the heat it creates under his skin.

_Fuck. Why did he have to kiss him?_

It was hard keeping his distance all these years but now that he’s had a taste. He has never been very strong, and right now his resolve is crumbling like a sand castle in the tide. Getting swept up in everything _Cas._

Cas can sense the tension coming from Dean- it's suffocating. It makes him restless. He feels it under his sternum, in the pads of his fingers, his mouth is dry.  He doesn’t understand _what_ it is. _Why_ it is. They just pressed their lips together, slid their tongues against each other. Compared to everything _else_ that has happened between them, _to_  them – it hardly seems noteworthy. But its all-consuming. It’s all Cas can think about. They haven’t talked about it, not surprising, Dean doesn’t talk. Dean is the one who’s eyes looked accusing and stepped away.

_Why does it feel like Dean is reaching for him?_

_Does Dean expect him to understand what is happening?_

Sam eyes his brother and the Angel across from him between bites of his salad. He gets the feeling that something has changed. He suspects Dean is over thinking falling asleep on Cas’ shoulder, probably panicking about what they think of him now. His insecurities about his _maleness_ a very well established character trait.  He hasn’t so much as looked at Cas and his eyes have been wandering over every _other_ inch of the place. He is going to have to talk to Dean if this doesn’t blow over soon- it’s embarrassing to watch. It's not even the first time this has happened. Maybe its cause Mary was there to see this time?

“So, do you fellas want to stop for the night or push through?” Mary asks startling the three men out of their thoughts. She doesn’t know what is going on but it's uncomfortable. She had a good talk with Dean this morning and had hoped that it would ease the atmosphere but it doesn’t seem to have lasted.

“Oh, um I don’t know. Guys?” Sam asks the men across from him after swallowing a sip of his ice tea.

“I guess I could drive, I did get way more than my four hours on the way. How far away is this place?” Dean muses moving his empty plate forward. He is thinking about getting some pie- he was still starving.  His leg bouncing to expend some of his nervous energy.

“Let me check…” Sam answers getting his phone out and opening google maps. “…we're about 10 hours out.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Dean says getting the waitresses' attention and ordering a slice of pecan pie. “Thanks, Darlin’” he says as she walks away, he thinks he hears Cas huff in annoyance at his side. It makes his leg speed up.

Cas can’t help but huff a little at Dean’s obvious flirtation with their server. Honestly, what is the man thinking? Castiel has not felt this on edge since he was under Naomi’s control. It's making him catalog every nuanced motion and sound and turn it over and over in his mind and it's _exhausting_.

Mary and Sam get lost in a conversation about how trans fats are now a bad thing and Mary is quite dumbfounded.

The young woman is back in less than a minute and sets Dean’s pie in front of him with a lascivious smile. He feels guilt wash over him. He was just going through the motions not even thinking about the little wink he shot her way. But seeing her express her interest in such an obvious way- right in front of Cas- makes his skin crawl and he looks down at his pie so fast he might have pulled something in his neck. Clearing his throat, he breaks off the very tip and brings his fork up to his lips. He feels Cas staring at him and his leg bounces faster.

Cas can’t stand the way Dean is making their booth shake with his nervous leg and when he speeds up for the second time it’s too much. He shoots his hand under the table and grips Dean’s thigh squeezing it in an effort to get the man to stop. And _everything_ happens at once.

Dean nearly chokes on a deep moan escaping his throat entirely without his permission. Cas has his big strong hand on Dean’s thigh, gripping the meat of it. His leg stills instantly and he can’t help but look him right in the eye. Surprise and arousal fighting for dominance on his face. Cas’ pupils explode and nearly obliterate the blue in his eyes as Dean watches him take a shaky breath. Dean swallows down his pie in in slow deliberate movement, trying to calm his breathing. His heart is beating so fast he is sure everyone can hear it. Cas’ hand doesn’t move and Dean feels the blood drain from his flushed cheeks heading south so fast he feels a little light headed. He is still staring at Cas when he licks his lips.

Cas' hand remains. Dean’s muscular thigh is warm and solid under it. The noise Dean made has his body in overdrive. His arousal is a heavy thing roiling in his belly, threatening to spill out and over. He didn’t think about what he was doing he just wanted the rocking to stop. Now he is staring at Dean who is licking his lips and he is pretty sure his erection is never going to go down again.

“Wow Dean,” Sam says clearing his throat and frowning at the display across the table. “that’s some pie huh? But seriously your little brother and mother really don’t need to hear you making those sounds.”

Mary starts laughing nervously. It’s hard for her to think of her boys as men, let alone men with needs and desires. She is pretty sure that sound was not something heard outside of a bedroom very often and she is a little concerned about Dean’s relationship with food at this moment.

Dean and Cas break eye contact looking over at Sam so fast that neither is sure who looked away first. Dean grins at Sam and wiggles his eyebrows trying to recover some dignity “Sorry this is _really_ good pie.” His voice is deeper than normal and he takes a sip of his coffee to try and get his body to calm down.

_Cas still has his hand on his thigh._

Cas can’t seem to move his hand. His body appears to have betrayed him, muscles refusing to obey frantic impulses from his slowly clearing mind. He swallows thickly and frowns down at his own coffee. His pants are uncomfortable and his pulse is racing. He thinks Dean might have covered the moment sufficiently as he and Sam are having a familiar back and forth about all the unhealthy food Dean insists on indulging in.  He takes a shaky breath and shoots a commiserating look at Mary who's smiling at him presumedly feeling lost in their familiar bickering. 

Dean thinks he sufficiently saved face and has Sam and Mary convinced that the outrageously graphic reaction was due to delicious sugary goodness.  He is acutely aware of the heavy hand on his thigh. His blood is swirling in his veins and pleasure shoots through the nerves under that solid weight. He banters with Sam for a few minutes and keeps eating the pie, it’s actually a little stale and not nearly as good as he made it sound. When he feels like he can breathe normally and his heart is no longer on the brink of beating out of his chest he slips his hand under the table and covers Cas’ hand interlocking their fingers as he does it.

Cas feels the hand settle on his and he forgets to breathe for a few minutes. He doesn’t _need_ to breathe- his vessel is kept alive by his grace but it’s a simple thing to let it carry on its autonomic nervous activities. It helps him blend in.  He schools his features as fingers lace in-between his and he risks a look at Dean who is still animatedly discussing dietary issues with Sam.  There is a slight flush creeping up Dean’s neck as he calls Sam a Jerk.

“Bitch.” Sam shoots back.

“Boys!” Mary gasps as the waitress lays down the bill looking a little taken aback by the conversation. She looks over at Mary clearly not sure how she fits in with the group of men but smiling at her in a friendly way. She turns her attention back to Dean who is avoiding eye contact with her at all costs. She frowns as she turns to leave, regretting leaving her phone number on the receipt.

“I’m gonna use the little girl's room before we hit the road.” Mary excuses herself and hurries in the direction of the restrooms.

“Sure you don’t want to take the rest of that pie with you? You two seemed very taken with one another” Sam teases getting up.

“You’re just jealous cause you haven’t had a carb in years.” Dean shoots emptying his coffee. He gives Cas’ hand a tight squeeze before letting it go with a rueful look at the Angel. “Come on Cas, I’ll let you sit in the front so this sad sack can catch some shut-eye in the back.” He smiles warmly at Cas and stands up to follow his brother out of the diner to the dimly lit parking lot.

Cas takes a few deep breaths thinking about April to calm his wayward dick before he follows the brothers out, meeting up with Mary at the door. She smiles at him and rubs his shoulder as they leave the diner together. His emotions are dizzying.

_Dean held his hand. Deliberately. Gently_.

His hand still feels the ghost of the rough callouses on his own. He feels like he might start hovering above the ground if he doesn’t keep this bubbling feeling down. He smiles softly when they reach the Impala and Dean pats the front bench next to him.

“Shotgun gets to pick the music – limited time deal Cas.” Dean smirks as the angel settles down next to him.  He feels like a teenager. His face keeps getting hot and his dick is half hard. He smiles a big sappy grin when Cas puts in one of his rare power ballad tapes. REO Speedwagon starts playing as he pulls out of the lot leaving Littlefield.

Half an hour later Sam is passed out with Mary sleeping against his broad shoulder in the back seat. Journey is drifting through the comfortable silence, the headlights following the road into the Nevada desert. Dean starts blushing when the lyrics catch his attention they sure haven’t topped the 80’s as far as sappy romantic shit goes.

“After all these years  
You stood by me  
The days and nights that I was gone  
After all these years  
You sacrificed, believed in me  
And you stood strong  
'Cause with our love there's nothing left to fear  
After all these years”

He clears his throat and with a glance at the rearview to make sure they were still sleeping, he reaches for Cas’ hand across the seat. He laces their fingers together when he hears Cas gasp in surprise- the Angel briefly stiffens and then relaxes his fingers between Deans.

They drive like that till the sun comes up. Contentedly listening to old guys croon about love and heartbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally get to California in the next chapter and things start to get weird... want to know what happens- let me know! Thanks for all the lovely feedback and encouragement so far- you guys are rock stars!


	5. Homecoming

Dean stops at the first motel just inside the city limits, he has been riding high all night. His adrenaline and excitement never tapering off. He’s sure he could take on a whole nest of vamps by himself he is so energized. He has been holding Cas’ hand for hours _. Hours_. And it still makes his heart skip a beat when he thinks about it. They haven’t spoken a word - just sent blushing looks at each other. _God, he feels like a kid it’s ridiculous._

When the car stops Castiel reluctantly let’s go of Dean’s hand, he doesn’t want to make Dean uncomfortable and he's sure Sam is waking up in the back seat. He thinks this gesture means that they are shifting to a new paradigm in their relationship- he just isn’t sure what Dean wants. He decides that they should talk about it as soon as they have some privacy.

Sam sits up and stretches as much as the back seat allows him too. He rubs his eyes and looks out the window. “We there?” he asks his voice cracking.

“Yeah, figured we’d need to shower and change before we start talking to people. And I could do with some breakfast.” Dean says putting the car in park. There is a Denny’s across the street and his stomach is growling.

Mary wakes up when the car door creaks open. “Hi,” she says yawning “is there food?”

Sam laughs at that “Dean really is your son, you guys, and food.” He slams his own door closed completing his stretch in the parking lot.

Cas is leaning against the side of the Impala and Dean saunters over to him. “You wanna come with me to get us some rooms?” Dean asks in a low voice nodding to the office.

“Yes, Dean.” Cas answers and his voice is rougher than normal- his vessel seems to be having a harder time controlling itself around Dean lately.

Sam watches as Dean and Cas walk over to the office together, their shoulders bumping the whole way. Those two- _hot and cold_ , yesterday they were yelling at each other and now they were all hushed whispers and soft smiles. _What was up with them?_

He slings his arm around Mary’s shoulder and they cross the street to the diner.

They're sipping their coffee when Dean and Cas come walking into the restaurant. Dean is frowning and Cas looks annoyed. “What happened to you guys?” Mary asks amusement leaking into her voice. “I got you, boys, some coffee” she nods at the other side of the booth and the two steaming mugs.

“They only have one room. Some stupid homecoming week for the university- the whole town is swarming with people.” Dean grouses as he drops onto the seat scooting over to make room for Cas.

“That’s fine- at least we got a roof, we’ve dealt with way worse accommodations before Dean,” Sam says frowning at the harsh look Dean shoots him.

“Yeah sasquatch but we’ve never had to bunk with a chick before- no offense mom. It’s just awkward” Dean tries to explain his disappointment. He was really looking forward to being alone with Cas, in a room. With a bed. He feels a flush starting to sneak up his neck and takes a gulp of too hot coffee.

“Well, room situation aside- let’s get started on this case? “Mary tries to diffuse the situation.

They eat a hearty breakfast and head back to the room. Getting showered and changing takes much longer than it should with four of them and only one bathroom. They decide to split up- Sam and Cas will talk to the kid in the hospital, Dean and Mary will ask around campus.

They spend the day interviewing people and meet up at a local bar for dinner to compare notes. Sam already has drinks ordered for them when Dean and Mary walk up to join them.

“Man, that was a long ass day,” Dean says sighing before taking a big gulp of his cold beer and working his tie loose.

“Did you guys find any leads?” Sam asks popping a nacho into his mouth.

“Not really, I talked with the kids who live in the house and Dean talked to the campus security guys,” Mary answers talking a gulp from her own beer and smiles a little mischievously.

“What?” Sam asks seeing the gleam in his Mom’s eyes and _is she blushing?_

“Mom got invited to a kegger at the frat house. How do you like them apples? “Dean says sourly.

“Oh honey, it’s just the suit, I’m sure of it!” Mary smiles at Dean and she is having a hard time keeping the giggles at bay.  She had gone dressed in casual clothes just wanting to blend in while Dean had done the usual FBI schtick.

“Some chick called me old today and our _Mother_ got hit on by lacrosse players!” Dean frowns and empties his beer.

Sam can’t keep it together – he loses it and is laughing loudly slapping the table. His brother struck out on a college campus- it’s finally happening _and_ their mom got more attention- this is hilarious!

“I am sure your mother is right Dean you can be quite _intimidating_ in that suit.” Cas tries to help, he can see Dean is taking it more personally than he ought to.

“Says the millennia-old dude stuck in a hot accountant who never ages” Dean snarks across the table. He regrets it immediately. _Fuck_. He just called Cas hot, in front of everyone.  He feels his face light up.

Sam laughs even more at that. _Dean your bi is showing_ he thinks as he watches Dean and Cas blush like the idiots they are. How have these two not gotten together yet? He shakes his head and tries to calm down, he feels bad for Dean- he can always tell when his brother is dangerously close to losing his cool. His ego is a little fragile and he just embarrassed himself in front of his family.

“Well our guy didn’t have much to add either, he’s gonna be fine though so that’s good,” Sam says trying to steer the conversation back to the case. “He pretty much told us what we already knew. Big fireball shot out of the fireplace and tried to crispify him.”

“Yeah, campus security didn’t have much either. Just some weird stories-kids doing dumb stuff like playing spin the bottle and breaking the bottle- some minor cuts and a weird incident with a girl cutting off her hair in the bathroom last weekend. Like Natalie-Portman-style with a straight razor.” Dean embraces the change of subject- breezing right past his slip up.

“So we could be looking at just college idiots or our kinda thing- nothing is very clear at this point. We should hit the library tomorrow?” Sam is trying to figure out if this sounds like a ghost or just the usual campus rumor mill adding on details as it goes.

“Or…we could go check out the house tonight?” Mary says carefully looking at Cas and Sam with a small smile. “They’re having a party tonight and I did get invited.” She finishes blushing furiously.

“That sounds like a good plan. We could make sure nothing bad happens.” Cas deadpans. This does sound like a great way for him to get a sense of the place. It would be good to figure out if it is indeed a ghost or something else.

“Are you guys serious? You want to crash a kegger?” Dean sounds exasperated.

“Are you scared you’ll get mistaken for faculty?” Sam can’t help himself.

“Shut up asshole. I’ll show you. Just let me change into something more relaxed.”

It's only 6 and the party won’t be starting till 10 so they have some time to kill. Dean decides they need to hit the mall since he didn’t pack “party clothes”- whatever that is. They split up when they get there, Dean heading off on his own and Sam promising to help Mary get something cool but “not slutty Sammy!”. Sam feels fine with what he has, he is the only one of them who actually went to college so he trusts his instincts. Jeans and a clean shirt always worked. They find Mary something at a TJMaxx and then he glances at Castiel who is staring at a pair of boots. He should probably get the guy something else too- that trench coat would stick out like a sore thumb. Cas has been wearing some of Dean’s old clothes lately when they are just hanging in the bunker, jeans and ratty band shirts. Sam thinks the Angel is starting to express his human side more and more and it makes him smile.

Dean texts Sam when he got everything he was looking for and they meet at the exit by the food court. They all have bags except for Sam and load up the Impala to head back to the room. “So Cas you got something too?” Dean asks looking at Cas in the rearview and then shooting a questioning look at Sam.

“Yes, your brother thought I would look like a “narc” if I went with my current outfit,” Cas says looking confused.

Mary laughs from next to him, “Oh honey, Sam is right- you look good for an old guy but you would look silly going to a party in that get-up.” Cas looks down at his suit frowning.

They agree to let Mary have the bathroom first since she is the only one with hair and makeup to worry about. She takes a quick shower and Dean hops in when she comes out to change into whatever Sammy got her. Cas doesn’t need to shower and will just “poof his outfit on” as Dean put it so he and Sam walked over to the liquor store to get some whiskey. They are all a little nervous about trying to blend in with a much younger crowd even though no one is talking about it.

Mary is wearing a soft white cotton shirt with turquoise earrings and a few delicate necklaces that drape down her chest. Her Demin skirt is short- not too short and the wedge heel sandals add about 2 inches to her height. Her legs are long and tan and she is curling her short blond hair in front of the large mirror in the room when Dean comes out of the bathroom.

Dean is wearing a well-fitting distressed denim shirt and some really tight black jeans. He is clean shaven and smells really nice. Mary tells him as much and he blushes. “You look way too young to be my mother” Dean looks Mary over and shakes his head. His life is seriously bizarre- his mother is legit younger than him. It's weird. He walks over to pack his dirty clothes into his bag when Sam and Cas return.

Sam gets through the door first and joke whistles at Mary and immediately regrets it. He is still trying to figure out how to relate to his mother who he never even knew and who is now closer to him in age than she is to Dean. He’s working on it. He is dressed in a relaxed pair of jeans and a black v-neck Tee that may or may not be a size too small. Dean is to blame- he turned this into some sort of competition.  He puts the booze on the table and moves out of the doorway to let Cas in.

Cas is wearing a pair of dark wash skinny jeans that cling to his thighs leaving nothing to the imagination. A thin blue cotton Henley tee is stretched across his pecks in a downright indecent way. He is also sporting a sexy as fuck black leather jacket and his hair screams “I just got laid and I gave as good as I got”. Holy Mother of … _Fuck_. Dean is regretting his tight pants instantly. He swears he has never seen anything this hot in his life. He thinks he's staring but he can’t for the life of him makes his eyes look at anything else.

Mary takes in Castiel and smiles at the Angel. “Well look at you! You look like a rock star!” She has come to think of Castiel as one of her boys but seeing the man decked out in nothing but skin tight fabric is a little distracting- she is only human.

“Thank you, Mary. You look nice too. As do you, Dean.” Cas stammers out, clearly uncomfortable with all the eyes on him. “ Sam assured me I no longer look like a _creeper?_ ” he finishes stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his pants.

Dean clears his throat and shakes his head a little. He reaches for the bottle and pours them each a double shot.

 

It’s a small town and a 10 minutes later they are parking the car two blocks away from the frat house- Dean insists on keeping Baby far away from “drunk driving idiots”.

“Starting to sound like Bobby old man!” Sam teases, he has to admit that Dean cleaned up nice. He’s pretty sure he isn’t going to fool anyone into thinking he goes to the school- maybe he could pass as a grad student or a visiting brother since its homecoming week and all. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to get under his skin if he can. Dean just shoots him an annoyed look and keeps walking, stuffing the EMF meter in his jacket pocket.

They walk up to the old house turned fraternity and pause looking at the large brownstone monstrosity. The place is three stories high and might have a basement too, the music is blaring some alternative indie rock that seems to be standard fare on campuses across the country. The lawn is covered in coeds in skimpy outfits and guys in polo shirts.

“Okay, we should probably split up and scope out the place. Text if you find anything?” Dean says stepping in. The hair on his skin stands up almost instantly when he crosses the threshold and he shivers involuntarily. There is definitely something off about Lowell house.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN- don't drink and drive!! ever! Dean having a double shot before doing so probably doesn't affect him and he had an Angel in the car...so just don't. 
> 
> Also, this kinda took a stroll through the woods as it were as far as plot goes...what can I say I am a sucker for the "let's dress the boys up" trope...promise to get more plot in the next chapter...are you still with me?


	6. Into the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! Sorry for the delay! I am on my Internal Medicine rotation and had to do a week of night shifts and that messed up my whole life! So this one is extra long to make up for it!

The music is blaring and there are people milling about everywhere. He steels himself, plastering on his most charming smile as he walks across the living room. A few girls give him the ol’ once over and he winks and nods- slipping into his old skin almost effortlessly. He finds the alcohol and snack table and helps himself to some room temperature beer. He starts listening to conversations and pays close attention to his surroundings. The fireplace Sam told them about has been boarded up. He decides to look around a bit and maybe try the EMF when he gets a chance.

Cas watches Dean head straight for the food table and smiles to himself. He looks around the room and tries to see what others can’t. He can sense the house is old and there is something in the air that unsettles him. He can’t put his finger on it as Dean would say. He decides to walk around to find if the feeling is concentrated in any particular area.

Sam feels a little uncomfortable, or restless…like something is crawling under his skin. He feels hot and flustered. It might have something to do with the gorgeous girl talking to him. She has her hand on his arm and is looking at him like she hasn’t had dinner and he is on the menu.

“Haven’t seen you around before, you new?” She asks.

“Um yeah, transferred to the law school last semester.” Sam lies easily, he is used to blending in and getting information from people.

“Law school? So, you’re the whole package huh? Brains and looks.” She says giving his biceps a squeeze.

“Uhm, what about you? What are you studying?” Sam awkwardly covers the sudden spike in his libido, he feels like he did when he was a gangly teenager going through the worst part of puberty. He is suddenly so horny he fears he might push this woman up against the wall and have his way with her.

This is not him. It’s not even like he's hard up. He saw Elieen last week for crying out loud! This was not normal-something was making him feel this way. He needed to find his brother or his mother. Oh, that did it. Just keep thinking about Mom. Yeah.

“Oh, I’m studying to be a nurse. I could give you a checkup in one of the rooms upstairs if you know what I mean?” She all but plasters herself to his body and whispers the last part in his ear.

Sam jerks away from her thinking about the time Bobby kissed Crowley to keep his erection in check. It was working- but it won’t last long. He turned away mumbling something about needing to go to the bathroom and hurried to the kitchen in the back pulling out his phone as he went.

In the kitchen, he finds a bunch of people sitting in a circle playing spin the bottle. Wow, people still do that at this age? He watches for a minute and the bottle lands on a blonde girl with her back to him and the jock across from her smirks at her, leaning over to claim his reward. Sam watches in absolute horror as the women’s hair is pushed out of her face just before their lips lock.

“MOM!!!!” What the hell?” Sam yells and he is pretty sure he is never getting turned on again.

He leaps across the room and yanks the college kid off of her so fast he surprises himself.

“Oh my god.” Mary whimpers as Sam keeps staring at her in shock. “I don’t know what came over me”. She touches her lips in a timid gesture feeling betrayed by her own mouth.

Sam turns ready to kick the ass of the douche who dared touch his mother like that but the guy is being tackled by an extremely aggressive co-ed who is climbing into his lap despite his lack of participation.

“We need to get out of here,” Sam says determined to leave before any more brain bleach moments sear themselves into his memories.

They turn to go find Dean and Cas- walking past the hormonal game on the floor to the hall leading to the stairway where Mary last saw Cas. Passing the bathroom door as it opens and a crying Anya? (He thinks her name was) comes hurling out sporting the world’s worst haircut. She has a straight razor held limply in her hand and several remaining tufts sticking up wildly and cuts on her head.

“I’m bad…I’m bad…I’m bad…” she keeps saying over and over and with that, she takes off running out the front door trailing drops of blood behind her from her scalp wounds.

“I’ll go make sure she's okay- you find Dean and Cas and we can regroup to figure out what the hell is going on in this house.” Mary takes off after the girl dialing 911 as she goes. Scalp wounds can bleed a lot and she’d rather overreact then have the girl die on her watch.

Sam shakes himself and turns to head up the stairs determined to get out of this house as soon as he can- he is feeling really off.

He turns left at the top and heads in the direction of what appears to be a bathroom.

He knocks “Dean? Cas? You in there?”

The action of knocking pushed the door open revealing that there is no one inside. He needs to calm his frazzled nerves. He can’t pinpoint exactly what he is feeling but its’ deeply unsettling. He walks over to the sink and runs the cold water taking in his reflection. He takes a deep breath and splashes some water on his face, feeling some clarity return to his muddled thoughts. Just as he is about to reach for the towel to dry his hands he hears splashing coming from the claw foot tub. He turns and regards the drawn shower curtain and heads over cautiously. It turns to frantic splashing and banging- it sounds like someone is drowning?

Sam rushes over the last few steps and yanks back the white plastic to find a boy no older than 12, head underwater in the full tub, thrashing for his life. His legs are bound together with a leather belt. And his arms are pinned to his body with a belt, too.

Sam thrusts his hands into the tub to grab him, but as his hands hit the water, the image of the boy is washed away in the ripples.

Sam pauses his heart racing, looking the tub up and down. Then slowly, he gets back to his full height. Sensing something behind him he whirls around to see the boy standing there, pale, soaking wet and scowling. The boy screams and Sam pulls out his iron knife and stabs it thru the specter dissipating just as quickly as it appeared.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean headed up the stairs discreetly looking at the EMF meter hidden inside of his coat. He's pretty sure he heard Sam yelling something but figured he’d call for one of them if it was serious. He sounded pissed, not scared and it was coming from the kitchen- he knew his Mom was in that general area too. Dean was well versed in Sam. He could tell if he was hungry, sad, or constipated from barely a word and a twitch of the kids’ eyebrow. He got to the top of the landing and headed in the direction of what he guessed were the bedrooms.

He paused in the open area set up like a study with desks against all three walls. He took in a sight that set his teeth on edge and his fists were balled up in an instant ready for a fight.

There leaning against one of the desks was Cas. His body was leaning back as far as he could go and his face was contorted in his “I don’t understand” expression.

Dean was well versed in Cas too.

Pushing up into his personal space was a tall, broad-shouldered guy. “Well, I was thinking since you said you’re new and all that I’d give you the grand tour…” He reached up and set his hand on Castiel’s shoulder letting it drop along his arm as his finished “We can start with my room. It’s just down the hall, what do you say stud?” He tried to reach for the Angels’ hand as his finally dropped off the leather coated arm.

“Get. Your. Grubby. Paws. OFF him!” Dean ground out, the timber in his voice so low he sounded more like Cas then himself. Dean was enraged, this sleazeball with his perfect hair and designer clothes was pushing himself on his guy!

Wow Winchester, since when is Cas yours? Part of his brain tried to offer up.

But he squashed that shit down cause Cas was his, and he was Cas’. Sure, they hadn’t talked about being exclusive. Or anything really... that had been happening between them for the last few weeks.

Years- that same part supplied.

Yeah ok, years. This was years’ worth of longing, of fighting and forgiving. Of trust and attraction of comradery and companionship. It was nearly a decade of unspoken, unacknowledged, ever growing love. He was hit with the weight of it in that moment. The heft of the realization that he wasn’t just into Cas, but that he full on loved the guy.

Capitol L.

Cupid shit. The stuff Sam and Jess had, Mom and Dad.

Shit.

He snapped out of his inner epiphany when he heard douche bag talking “Oh yeah- and who are you anyway? Go find your own..” he trailed off and turned his attention back the flustered looking angel. “Wanna go somewhere more private Handsome?” he put his hand around Cas’ neck and jerked his head back in the direction of the aforementioned room.

“He came here with me, now one last time, get your hands off him.” Deans’ voice was pure ice and he was proud of how even it came out when he was having an internal crisis. He just realized he was in love, with the best friend he has ever had and he was ready to murder the entitled asshole touching him.

“Dean…” Cas said sounding rather breathless. He abruptly shoved the young man away and straightened up. He was trying really hard to reign in his own emotions at that moment. He was frustrated with how aloof Dean had seemed since they got to town and at being caught so unaware by a boy no less. The teenager had come on to Castiel so fast and so aggressively that he wasn’t entirely sure what was happening until he was pushed up against a heavy wooden desk. He had little prior experience with situations like this but it had seemed like everyone was interested in him tonight. There had been the girl slipping her hand to his rear in the hallway earlier, another young man had whispered obscene suggestions in his ear when he had been out back by the fire pit. And now this. It seemed like Dean was implying that they were in some sort of relationship. Where they?

The young man- his name was Marc- not that anyone seemed to care, lifted his hands in an appeasing gesture “Sure man, whatever. He was pretty into it till you showed up so maybe you two should talk huh?” he sneered at Dean and shoved him hard on his shoulder as he stormed past and down the stairs.

“I was not “into it”, I simply had no idea that he was asking for intercourse until it was too late.” Cas huffs using his infamous air quotes. Pointedly not looking at Dean, he really didn’t want Dean to think he would do something like that but he felt like he had been caught red-handed as it were and wasn’t sure how to explain what had happened. He sensed anger rolling of Dean in waves and he was pretty sure they were about to have an argument.

“Cas, man, I know. I believe you.” Dean said, voice suddenly soft and low.

“You do?” Cas asked looking up at Dean with his eyebrows pulled together in his signature worried look.

“Yeah. Of course. Look, man, I know we haven’t talked about…” and here he gestures between the two of them wildly “you know…this, this thing. Us.” His face feels like it’s reaching new shades of red by the second.

God was he really doing this now. Here. In the middle of a job. Fuck his life.

Dean decides that words really are not his friends and takes the three steps that separate them when he sees the look of apprehension on Cas’ face. It’s like the man expects to be pushed away, told to leave again. He can’t stand it a second longer.

The next instant there is kissing. Lots of kissing. Dean wraps Cas in his arms and pulls him as close as he can and just surrenders to the incredible want that is taking over his entire being.

 

Cas is surprised for all of two heartbeats and then his instincts take over. He kisses back with everything he has. He threads his fingers into Deans short hair and angles his head just the way he wants him.

They kiss like they've been starving for it, like their very existence depends on it. All the sounds and sights around them fade into nothing and there is only the other. They slide their tongues in a serpentine dance and skate desperate hands over fevered flesh.

Dean is dimly aware that something is off. There is a willful need gripping him and it’s not entirely natural. Sure, he is so done with waiting, with tiptoeing around this, but the desire spurring him on feels bigger than it should. It feels urgent, somehow wild.

Feral.

But he can’t stop. Won’t.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam storms out of the bathroom, more desperate to find the rest of his family and get the hell out of here than ever. Fucking ghosts he mumbles to himself heading in the opposite direction. As he stomps through what appears to be their communal study area he stops dead in his tracks.

Standing there in the middle of the room, for all the world to see is his brother. His older, hereto for apparently straight brother. Who at this very moment seems to be unbuttoning the jeans of a very aroused and very male angel.

“Dean!” Sam gets out and if his voice sounded like a squeaky chew toy -sue him.

Dean and Cas barely pull apart, Dean turning his face in the direction of the interruption while Cas it appears takes the opportunity to start liking Dean’s throat. Sam wants to die. He has seen his fair share of highlights from The Dean Winchester reel but this-this is too much. His brother is corrupting his best friend at a frat party.

Isn’t he like 20 years too old for a sentence like that?

“Uh, kinda busy here Sam.” Dean gets out and closes his eyes as a wave of pleasure shoots down his spine when Cas sucks his earlobe between his lips and bites just hard enough to get right to that sweet spot between pain and pleasure. “Oh god babe…” he breathes out.

Sam thinks he is going to be sick. Yup, send him right back to the cage with Lucy- this is way too much punishment for anyone to have to endure.

“Guys! Come on! What the hell- we have to get out of here! Then you two need to get a room cause I can’t take much more.” Sam is nearly whimpering the last part cause they still haven’t stopped.

“Oh, yeah great idea. Cas. Room” Dean gets out before bending slightly and picking Castiel up. Cas wraps his legs around Dean and they start stumbling down the dark hallway and into the first door they find. Never breaking their kiss.

Sam runs both hands thru his hair in frustration and yells after the two “Not what I meant! Come on guys seriously!” When the door slams shut with a loud bang Sam stalks after them.

Banging on the door violently cause there is only so much he can take- he keeps trying to get through to them “Guys! Come on! We have to go!!! I saw a ghost in the bathroom- we need to deal with this.”

He listens for a few seconds and hears… zippers… and oh god Castiel moans?

“Dean! DEAN!!! This isn’t’ funny!!! WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!”

Fuck, this is just typical. Dean would do this in the middle of a case. Sure, he is glad they finally got their collective heads out of their asses but come on! Now?

He heads down the stairs to look for Mary – maybe having their mother knocking will douse the passion long enough for them to leave. He runs into her coming up the stairs as he is going down.

“Sam! There is definitely something going on here- there was some sort of explosion in the kitchen and its freezing downstairs. Where’s Dean and Cas? We should get out soon!”

“Um, yeah about that.” He turns and gestures for her to follow him back up. He leads her to the door and indicates that she should do something. She tries the doorknob and it doesn’t budge.

She shoots a questioning look at Sam “Are they in there?”

“Yeah, and they won’t come out,” Sam says pushing his lips together tightly at the irony of that statement.

“Dean? Cas? Boys we have to go!” Mary knocks on the door. She pushes her ear against it and hears what sounds like a groan and movement. Alarmed she turns to say something to Sam when she spots something coming from under the door.

Sam and Mary stand back and watch as tiny vines, spread like creepy fingers from under the door. They watch helplessly as the door itself fuses into the doorframe, becoming one. Sealing off the room.

“DEAN!!!!” They both yell pounding on it as hard as they can.

\-----------------------

“Did you hear that?” Dean asks stopping only for a second as he is kissing his way down Cas’ newly exposed chest.

“Mmm, no” Cas mummers running his hands over Deans back and ignoring the distant sound of knocking.

They're completely absorbed in each other. Fingers and limbs entwined. They kiss, slowly, softly. Gazing into each other's eyes.

They're oblivious to everything else - because, for them, everything else has faded away. The room is gone, they are in an eerie, empty space of blackness and nothingness. There is only them and miles of uncharted skin burning to be explored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still enjoying this? Let me know- you have no idea how much that motivates a writer! Thank you!


	7. Bring on the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay between posts. Medical school is an epic time suck. ;) Promise the next one will be up very soon- which is why this one is kinda short.

Dean kisses down the trail of soft brown hair leading from Cas’ navel to his pants. He fumbles with the man’s belt and zipper without stopping his exploratory nipping and licking. He has always known that he’d have a _hunger_ for Cas when he finally let himself go there. _Here._ But this…

He has been watching him, studying him and yearning for him so he expected to feel overwhelmed.

_Hell, be honest Winchester- you’ve been pining for him. For almost a decade._

_God, it’s been that long?_

That _must_ be what he’s feeling. There's the expected excitement, the sheer joy of finally, _finally_ doing this. The overwhelming arousal at touching _this being_ that has been burrowing his way into every part of Dean, deeper and deeper until he struggles to see where he ends and the Angel begins. He needs this. He needs to cross that unspoken line. The final barrier keeping them from being _them_. Take what he doesn’t deserve but what has been given to him regardless. He expected to feel at least a tingling of doubt, of questioning the wisdom of giving in to this. To overthink it at least in passing. For this leaves him vulnerable. This means if Cas ever does leave again- he won’t survive it. Not _after_. He should be going slower. Should they be talking about this?

_And god when did he turn into Sam?_

He didn’t want this to happen in some frat house in the middle of a job. When he had let his mind go there, they were in his room.  The memory foam imprinting with the shape of Cas just as his own body was. They would go slow, take their time, later they would give in to the urgency. But this felt _more_. There was _something else_ scratching at him from inside. It feels alien and too insistent. It feels like he's drowning and Cas is his only salvation. His hunter instincts demand that he stop and inspect it.

Ultimately _it_ wants what he wants- _Cas_. So, his carnal side wins out and he slips his hand into Cas’ boxers.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam and Mary are still pounding on the door that wasn’t there anymore.

“DEAN!!!”

“CAS!!!”

There's no reply and they no longer hear any sounds from the beyond the vine-covered wall. The house has started to shake, lights flickering wildly and people were screaming.

They had to get everyone out of here they knew that and the short curt nod they exchange holds a whole conversation.

 [clear out the civilians. maybe call in back up. come back. Dean and Cas were hunters- they could keep themselves alive…for now]

With that, they head downstairs. Corralling people as they go. Sam runs into a guy he’d seen talking to Cas earlier who's just standing in the middle of the great room. Right under a huge crystal chandelier that looks like it's about to pull an Elsa and- let go. He grabs him by the shoulders trying to shake him back to reality.

“Hey man, you gotta go! Get out of here!” Sam yells right in his face.

The guy simply stands there and says, “Touch not the impure thing…”

“What?” Sam is ready to just pick him up- that last shake was violent.

“… for ye shall perish. Find salvation in the cross of our Lord and savior…”

“Um, right. Ok” he bends down and fireman carries the crazed dude to the porch which is where he decides to snap out of it.

“Hey what the hell! Put me down freak!” he starts squirming and Sam drops him gracelessly.

“You’re welcome” he deadpans and heads back in to check for more survivors. He has to reach for the stair rail on the porch to keep from falling on his ass as the latest quake rattles through the house.

Just as it calms down he spots Mary coming from the kitchen and she stops when she reaches the deck.

“I think that’s everyone,” she says sounding winded.

“Ok, any ideas on how to get through a wall?” Sam says looking up the stairwell, just visible through the entryway, as he tries to think if they have something in the Impala that could break through that.

“Maybe there’s something in the house? Fire ax?” Mary suggests and they turn to go back into the house, Sam taking the lead.

Just as he attempts to cross the threshold he is pushed back by an invisible force that has him landing on his back in the flower bed a few feet from the porch. Completely knocking the wind out of him. He coughs as he tries to pull air back into his violently emptied lungs. He lifts his head to look at his mother who is crouching next to him with a concerned expression.

“Or it could be research time?” Sam says looking equally worried.

\---------------------------------------------

Cas feels like he is blaspheming with his lips as he kisses down Dean’s straining neck. He is lost to his Father’s entire creation- it all whittles down to _Dean._

He has never felt this singularly occupied with one task, not even when he was still part of the host. It bothers him. He is a waveform of infinite time and knowledge he should not be able to lose perspective so easily. He feels rooted in his vessel in a way that unsettles him. He is using its’ synapses and oxygen and blood- blood that is screaming at him to _take, take, take._ It's deafening as it rushes in his ears.

He should stop. He should not hold on to this flesh so fiercely. He should talk to Dean. But he lost his words after Dean had taken him into his mouth and wrung out pleasure from this body he never knew was possible. He suspects that the _presence_ he senses is somehow feeding off this primal tableau.  He should care, should feel worried but he can’t.

He can only feel Dean. 

He grasps Dean by his erect cock and is swept under the wave of arousal that hits him when Dean _, his Dean_ moans for him.

 ----------------------------------------------

 

Sam and Mary are back in the Impala, Sam has his laptop out and is looking for any information he can dig up on this house. He had sent a text to Eileen. She was headed their way, they were planning on taking a day off together after finishing up here.

Eileen: Sorry about Dean and Cas but I’m sure they are fine. I am less than half an hour out if you need back up.

Sam: Yes please, I have no idea what we’re dealing with.

Mary had been trying they guys on their cells with no luck. She was calling Garth for ideas now and he could hear every other word from her side of the conversation as she paced from the curb to the trunk and back. She was so much like Dean in little ways. Not able to sit still when she was worried, rearing to get into the fight. Sam smiled a small smile and kept typing on his computer- hijacking internet from a sorority house next door. Their password was “password”- gotta love the priorities of college kids.

Less than 15 minutes later Eileen pulls up in her Toyota and parks behind the Impala. Sam hugs her a little too long and Mary gives him the quirked eyebrow before embracing the hunter in her own greeting. He sets his laptop up on the trunk next to Eileen’s Surface and fills her in on what happened.

“So, Dean and Cas didn’t respond at all when you knocked?” Eileen signs.

“Probably too busy doing it to answer,” Sam says and groans when he realizes what he just let slip.

“Doing what?” Mary interjects and isn’t that just the kind of question you want to answer _your mom_ , in front of your kinda-sorta-maybe _girlfriend._ About your _brother_ and his _angel_.

“You know for a child of the 70’s you’re kinda naïve mom” Sam decides to play it cool.

“Oh... I didn’t think you meant…” Mary blusters “In the middle of all that? You really think they were keeping it up?” Then Mary’s face goes tight in horror at the look Sam shoots her.

“Phrasing mom” Sam groans and has to literally shake his head to keep that from echoing in there.

“That’s it! People were kind of acting weird at the party all night…sexually.” Mary recovers trying not to blush as she remembers her own impromptu make-out session.

“Weird how? “ Eileen asks smiling at Sam before turning her attention to Mary.

“You’re right. They were extra horny, playing spin the bottle – “ he arches his brows remembering that all too well- “making out, I felt something, like pheromones or something.” He finishes lamely.

“It could be a succubus? Or satyr? “ Eileen suggests.

“Get this, it wasn’t always a fraternity, look.” Sam says excitedly pointing at his screen “ Between 1949 and 1960, the Lowell… 'Home for Children' … housed upwards of forty adolescents: runaways, juvenile delinquents, and emotionally disturbed teenagers from the area.”

“Did any of them die?” Eileen signs thinking a ghost could explain the situation.

“No, and the EMF was a bust. This is mostly about the old director of the place. Genevieve Holt, she got all kinds of awards, community service…giving lost children the love they deserved…” Sam reads.

“When did she die?” Mary asks she knows EMF isn’t always a hundred percent.

“She didn’t,” Sam says. “I’ve got her address- she still lives in town.”

“Well, it’s the best lead we’ve got,” Mary says nodding to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know if you're still out there darlings... thanks for sticking with an unscheduled WIP...


	8. Dirty Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter in as many days... ;) you're welcome.

They pull up outside the assisted living facility, Sam thanking whoever is still listening that the place housed people in standalone apartments. They would never have gotten to see her if she was guarded by a reception desk with official visiting hours. It’s just past four in the morning and he feels bad for all of a second before remembering that his brother and best friend are still trapped in that house.

They get out of the Impala and file up the walkway bracketed with immaculate flower beds. Sam double checks the number before knocking on the French doors of “Bungalow 71”, there is a soft light spilling through the curtains and he hopes this means Ms. Holt is up.

“Yes?” a short woman with lush gray hair wearing a very respectable robe says peering through a crack in the door.

“Good Evening Ma’am, sorry to bother you this early. I’m Special Agent Head, this is SA Jenkins and SA Rosenberg with the FBI” Sam holds up his badge for her to inspect. He hopes the hour and serious tone covers for their lack of suits at the moment- they couldn’t waste time changing first.

She gives them each a stern suspicious look before looking up at Sam again “What’s this about?”

“We just wanted to ask you a few questions about the Lowell Home for children? If you don’t mind? You were the director for several years until it closed down 20 years ago correct?” Sam does his best “official police business” voice.

“Oh yes. And no, I don’t mind.” She gestures for them to follow her inside swinging open the door and turning to lead them into a living room. “I was up, early morning prayer.” She gestures to an open Bible and rosary on the coffee table.

Sam takes in the room – heavy wooden crosses are hung on every wall, along with framed prints depicting Saints and Angels doing battle. He shoots a look at Mary and Eileen that says “ _Are you guys getting the creeps too?_ ” before following Ms. Holt and takes a seat on the large couch next to the easy chair she sat down in.

“And I like talking about my kids. I still call then that- my kids.” Ms. Holt says looking at Mary with a pleased smile.

“I suppose you were like a mom to them? “Mary asks softly, she tries not to let her mind wander to how she never got the chance to be that for her own sons.

“Oh yes, I fed them, clothed them, educated them in the way of the Lord. They gave me a medal for it.” Ms. Holt replies proudly.

“Wonderful. Congratulations.” Sam says swallowing and trying to smile at the old woman. “This may sound strange but did you ever notice any disturbances in the house, anything you couldn’t explain?” He screws his face into the sympathetic one he uses when trying to convey that he will believe what they tell him, no matter how crazy it might sound.

“I don’t understand?” Ms. Holt says looking confused.

“Well, like furniture moving by itself, objects appearing out of nowhere.  Maybe you saw someone one minute and then they were gone the next? Any cold spots in the house? Maybe a smell, like rotten eggs?” Sam tries.

“That sounds like crazy talk,” Ms. Holt says clearly taken aback by the line of questioning.

“Yes, it does. Doesn’t it.” Mary interjects sounding apologetic. “Sorry for asking this but the children you cared for… were any of them ever sick or did something ever happen to any of them?” Mary hedges trying to keep the woman on their side.

“Well, they had the flu and such. No one ever died if that’s what you mean! The engraving on the medal says how good I was with the children.” Ms. Holt finishes looking gratified again.

“Oh yes,” Says Sam giving her a charming smile.

“I treated them as I would my own flesh and blood-“ Ms. Holt continues. “I gave them hugs and praise when they were good, and punished them when they were _dirty_.” She says the last part with a strange inflection that makes the hair on Sam’s neck stand up.

“Children will be children, they like to get dirty, they sure seem to love mud,” Mary says with a smile- she does remember _that_ about Dean, he used to bake so many mud pies in the hot Kansas summers.

Ms. Holt gets a dark look about her and a small frown forms between her brows.

“You… didn’t mean muddy dirty, did you?” Sam asks feeling unnerved as he thinks back to the party. And the guy in the hallway _"touch not the unclean thing_ ".

“My kids didn’t think I knew. But I did.” Ms. Holt says with an edge to her voice now that is very out of place coming from a retired orphanage director sitting in her robe.

“Um, very perceptive of you…” Sam encourages her to keep going after shooting a worried look at Mary and Eileen.

“Without me, they would have been shut out of the Kingdom, lost to lust.” Ms. Holt continues darkly.

“But you " _helped_ " them.” Sam keeps prodding, an expert at keeping people talking, one of the things that Dean hated most when he used it on his brother. He was definitely getting worried about where this was going and thinking about Dean and Cas trapped in whatever was happening had him school his face. He was desperately trying to hold back the disgust that was building in his gut.

Ms. Holts nods “The girls fell to vanity more than the boys. I'd see them preening like Jezebel, doting over their pretty hair…” she trails off.

Remembering the girl from the party that she had called 911 for Mary finishes: “So you'd cut it off.”

Ms. Holt answers with a kind of steel to her voice “I'd remove the temptation to admire themselves. They were better for it.” Matter of factly. 

Sam frowns unable to keep his features neutral any longer “What about the bathtub? Something happened there.”

“I performed Baptisms for the most unclean. Those who were tainted with impure thought and deed.” Ms. Holt says with such surety in her voice that bile rises in Sam’s throat.

“You held them under,” Sam says, sure _that_ is what he saw in the bathroom. He has never wanted to hit an honest to god old lady before but he is almost shaking with the desire to do exactly that right now.

Mrs. Holt stands up suddenly shaking with her own anger “They needed to be reborn. You choose to pass judgment on me?”

Mary can’t stand it any longer and shoots up to get in the woman’s face before Sam has a chance to “Well, someone should! You traumatized and abused these children, who are now, undoubtedly extremely disturbed adults. You ruined lives, Mrs. Holt. Not to mention the fact that what you did has manifested itself as a murderous presence that threatens more lives. You have a lot to answer for!”

Ms. Holt is breathing harshly “I refuse to listen to this when I can smell the sin on each and every one of you!”

With that, Sam can’t stand it anymore. He nods over at his mother and Eileen and they leave the apartment before giving Ms. Holt the pleasure of kicking them out. He is fuming at the old lady and if they had stayed any longer he might have actually shaken her. People like that always got his blood boiling. Judgmental and imposing their morals on others. He has seen _actual_ evil. He has spent time with Lucifer himself. He hated that people still tried to make something as natural and human as sex seem like it was dirty. He hated them, _especially_ for Dean.

He had always known that Dean was wired to like both sexes and as far as he knew- until very recently with Cas -he had never acted on that. Few things left him feeling so powerless as having to watch Dean deny himself what little happiness he could reach for because of people like Ms. Holt and their imposed ideas of what is _normal_. Of what is _right._

“I don’t get it. I mean those kids were tortured but they weren’t killed so where are the ghosts coming from?” Eileen signs speaking for the first time. She stops before getting into the car.

“There aren’t any ghosts,” Mary answers quietly.

“I saw one in the bathroom.” Sam counters.

“Not a ghost. An apparition.” Mary explains. She remembers working a case similar to this with her father and cousins back in the day. “I think we're dealing with a kind of Poltergeist, born out of intense adolescent emotional and sexual energy.”

“Both of which were pent-up during Mrs. Holt's reign of repression” Sam scowls, he doesn’t like the sound of that. No ghost means no salt-and-burn solution. He hates poltergeists, teenage-angst-borne- poltergeist might be his new least favorite thing.

“So with Dean and Cas…” Mary tries but can’t get herself to finish that sentence. She isn’t even used to being the same age as her sons, she is going to need some time getting used the idea of them and sex. She isn’t naïve despite Sam’s teasing she just needs to adjust from 4-year-old mud pie baking ray of sunshine to thirty-something ruggedly handsome man first, thank you very much.

“Yeah their activities are probably feeding the poltergeist” Eileen adds looking at Sam apologetically. She knows that Sam has been rooting for Dean and Cas to have a talk about the obvious feelings they have for each other, but she can also imagine how awkward talking about them and sex must be in the presence of his mother and the woman he is currently sleeping with.

Sam tries not to imagine what “activities” exactly they are probably engaging in _right now_ and soldiers on “Okay so the poltergeist is drawing more and more of that energy out of them. Feeding on it. Dean and Cas are powering this whole thing.”

Mary looks worried “Okay, they're the battery for this thing. So, what happens when the battery is drained?”

Sam thinks wryly that Dean would be making a very inappropriate joke about not being able to think of a better way to go out, right about now. He decides not to share that thought.

He is worried about his brother and they need to figure out how to stop this thing and fast. He isn’t as concerned as Mary though. He would be if it weren't for one detail. He is used to being around Cas and his unique abilities have become part of Sam's everyday world. To such an extent that he immediately realizes something that the average hunter would probably never consider in this situation. He groans trying to think of a way to explain yet another mortifying concept to the last two women in the world he wants to be talking to about his brother’s sex life.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Dean rolls Cas over so they are flipped and he’s on top. He regrets it, almost painfully because it meant he had to stop kissing Cas for a few seconds _._

 _It’s too long_.

He dives down and slips his tongue back into the gloriously warm and pliant mouth below him. He groans at the feel of Cas _everywhere_. Their bodies are covered in sweat - mostly Dean’s since Cas is an Angel and he doesn’t do that kind of thing. Turns out he does _other things_ though.

Like mojo an endless supply of lube. He even uses that awesome healing touch of his to magic Dean’s dick back to life- over and over and over. He is rearing to go again and he just had orgasm _six?_ Or was it _seven?_ He’s lost count. All he knows is he is not ready to stop. His brain is a puddle of post-orgasmic chemical bliss but he wants more. _Needs_ more. He pulls Cas’ knee over his shoulder and with a feral growl he sinks back into his searing heat and starts pistoning his hips wringing out sounds from his Angel he could never have imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I fully intend to finish this today...here's hoping life plays along... thanks for sticking with me! Your comments and kudos are marvelous!


	9. I Was Made to Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is...finished it in a marathon session this afternoon... so if there are errors please point them out since I don't have any beta readers!
> 
> Longest fic by FAR for me...tell me what you think? Did it turn out okay?

Dean falls over to lie next to Cas breathing heavily and coming down from his latest orgasm. His lips are dry and he feels exhausted. Cas reaches for him. Desperate still after hours and hours of this.

“Don’t stop. Never stop touching me” he begs. He touches Dean’s forehead and restores his body with the cooling grace flowing through the pads of his fingers.

“Geez Cas, have I told you how much I love that particular trick of yours” Dean grins at him lasciviously and pulls the Angel to lie on top of him now.

He is vaguely aware that he has a life, things he is responsible for. People who are waiting for him. He can’t care about that though, not when Cas is straddling him and he gives his mind over to the pleasure sparking low in his belly.

\---------------------------------------------------------

“So that’s the plan then?” Sam double checks with Mary and Eileen. They are in front of the house now set up on the lawn in the early predawn hours. Luckily, it’s a Saturday so it should be a while before any kids wake up and start asking questions about the seance on the lawn.

“I will work the spell to bind the spirt long enough to give you two a chance to get the boys out of there,” Mary confirms, lighting the last candle set in a circle around her spell bowl.

“Any idea how much time we are talking about?” Sam shoots his mother a questioning look, she did this once before a long time ago and it would be nice to have an idea of what to expect.

“Could be tricky. I’m calling on the communal spirits of a certain time and place” she says sounding apologetic.

“Okay well, let’s get them out,” Sam says setting his mouth in a determined line and hefting the ax in his hands. Turns out Eileen’s cache has a few more heavy-hitters in it than his and Deans. She is carrying a large hammer in addition to her salt round loaded shotgun.

“Come forth and be known.” Mary starts enchanting. She feels her skin break out in goosebumps and opens her eyes to see a group of teenage apparitions appear surrounding her. She nods at Sam and Eileen who make their way up to the door that has swung open.

The skilled hunters take a tentative step into the foyer and look up to the stairwell now absolutely overgrown in vines. Sam lifts his ax and starts chopping through the thick branches clearing a path up to his brother and friend. “We better go fast- we don’t know how long we have before the kids come home”

Mary looks at the forms of the children with sadness “I implore you, be still. Let my people pass. Release your pasts…” Mary tries- she is making this part up. A wind starts whipping around her and the candles flicker out- “Find here the serenity you seek and the peace you...!” she yells before her spell bowl is flung across the lawn. “Oh shoot.” She says when she hears Sam yelling in the house.

Sam is suddenly flung past the landing on the second floor and dragged into the bathroom from earlier by an invisible force. The spirit pulls him into the bathtub and pushes him under the water. He fights to sit up but its hard to fight against something you can’t see. He struggles and rages against it- he can see the shapes of ghostly children looking down at him.

Eileen rushes after Sam and vines shoot out from everywhere determined to keep her away. She hacks through them with Sam’s dropped ax.

Rushing into the bathroom she pulls Sam out from the tub and he coughs up water as they struggle past yet more vines to get to the room Sam pointed at. Eerie screams fill the air and they hack their way past the thickest vines growing over the former door. They stop when its cleared and raise their weapons to start breaking through the wall when the door suddenly reappears.

Sam frowns in suspicion but reaches for the doorknob with shaking hands. He’s is soaked to the bone and the house is freezing. He puts a little pressure on the golden latch and it gives easily swinging open smoothly.

In the dark room, the light streaming in from the hallway highlights the bed in the center. Sheets are crumpled up and clothes are everywhere. And Dean is on his stomach pillows propped under his hips and a very annoyed looking Angel is draped over his back. They are both very naked and covered in a shining gleam of sweat.

“What the hell Sam! Don’t you knock!!!!” Dean barks out in anger.

_Cas never stops moving his hips._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Several minutes later Sam is drinking whiskey straight from the bottle Dean keeps under the back seat for “emergencies”. He doesn’t even remember making it down the stairs. He has never wanted to be anywhere _else_ so badly in his life as he did standing there in that doorway.

He is a pretty open-minded guy, heck he had a devil’s three-way in college but _that_ is not something he needed to see. His brother bent over and their best friend- who just happens to be a millennia-old _Angel of the Lord_ buried balls deep...nope…no. He takes another long pull from the bottle.

Mary and Eileen are standing off to the side giving him space he suspects. They might have giggled at his reaction but he doesn’t care. He is going to require therapy after tonight. There are just some things you can’t _un_ -see and he doesn’t think there is enough alcohol in the world to make this memory go away.

Dean and Cas come sauntering out of the no-longer-haunted house at that moment having taken the time to put their clothes back on- _thank all that is holy_.

Dean doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed although Cas seems to find the pavement very interesting as they come to a stop in front of their rescuers. Their fingers are laced together hanging between them.

“So…sex poltergeist. That’s new.” Dean opens coughing a little when he realizes his mother is standing right there. He has _some_ shame.

Cas flushes a deep red and keeps his gaze on their shoes.

“We are lucky no one was injured. No thanks to us.” Cas intones sounding remorseful.

“Don’t be too hard on yourselves” Mary says putting a comforting hand on the Angel's shoulder to get him to look up.

“Mary is right, it’s not your fault. You were under the influence of some powerful magic.” Eileen signs.

“We were like zombies man. I had no control over myself at all.” Dean says with sort of faraway look in his eyes.

“It must have been horrible” Mary sympathizes and runs her hand down Cas’ arm.

Cas glances at Dean and there is a beat of silence before he says. “Yes. Horrible.”

\-------------------------------------

 

Mary decided to join and Sam on a case Eileen had found before heading their way, there was a vampire stalking a small town less than two hours away. She felt a little bad for intruding on their hunt but would be sure to get her own room when they got there. They had all sensed that Dean and Cas were the ones who really needed some time to themselves. They might have been inching their way towards each other after all the years of trying to fight what was between them but it didn’t mean that they were ready for what just happened to them.

They were standing in the parking lot of the motel watching the Impala’s rear lights disappear down the driveway when she turned to her youngest son. “They are going to be okay, right?”

“I think so. They love each other, have for a long time. They just need to talk things out.” Sam answered watching the sky change to bright blue as the sun was finally all the way past the horizon. He _knew_ that Dean and Cas were meant to be together. He’d spent almost every day with both of them for years now and it was obvious. There was no one out there who would be better suited to make his brother happy. Cas just _got_ Dean in a way that was foreign to Sam.

He had seen his share of people in love, his own love for Jessica always being his most intimate reference but it was different than all of that. Cas _knew_ Dean in a way another person would never be able to know his brother. Dean was guarded, stoic and closed off to most everybody. Sam has gotten a peek over his walls a hand full of times and he knows there are things he will never know about his brother. Dean doesn’t talk about things. He doesn’t believe he is worthy of love- Sam suspects that is part of what kept him away from Cas all this time. But Cas can see all of that – and more importantly, he can see _past_ it. He literally saw Dean in Hell, being the worst version of himself, and the guy still follows Dean around with heart eyes. He has given up actual armies and literal paradise for Dean. Sam knew Dean would never accept love if it was any subtler than that.

 It always had to be Cas.

Sam smiles as he slings his arms around Eileen to his left and his mother on his right pulling both women in for a short hug. “Come on- we need to crash for a few hours before we head out”.

 

 --------------------------------------------

 

Dean is grateful that Sam suggested Mary stay with him and Eileen. He knows he needs to talk to Cas and he wants to do it right. They decided to hit the road right away because Dean wants to get home. He wants the next time he makes love to Cas to be in his bed. In _their_ bed. So, he is breaking every speed limit between California and Kansas with even less than his usual miniscule guilt over such things.

And Cas is just _the best_ Dean decides. It’s like he knows what Dean is thinking and he doesn’t make him say it. So, they drive along the highways for hours just holding hands and listening to John’s old cassettes. They stop for fuel and food making small talk and smiling at each other like besotted teenagers in a Rom-com. Dean would be embarrassed if he wasn’t so happy. And wow, is that a new feeling. His chest feels light and his mouth hurts from all the grinning but he can’t help himself. A waitress in Grand Junction brings them complimentary pie because she assumes they’re newlyweds. Dean just rolls with it and Cas gets this deep pink flush across his cheeks when Dean takes his hand and asks her “It’s that obvious huh?”

They finally roll into Lebanon less than 22 hours later- record time even for him, and he feels nervous and giddy as he pulls into the garage. _Home._ He sighs in relief and gets out.

Cas wordlessly follows him to the room Dean is already thinking of as _theirs_ and wasn’t that just unexpectedly easy. He drops his duffle on the floor and takes a seat on the bed gesturing for Cas to do the same. The bed dips under his weight as he takes his place next to Dean.

“So… I guess we should probably talk huh?” Dean begins, looking at Cas, suddenly feeling very nervous.

“Sam would probably be proud to hear you say that.” Cas teases gently with one of those smiles that is all in his eyes.

“Yeah well, what he doesn’t know- can’t hurt me.” Dean shoots back and takes Cas’ hand between his.

“I just want you to know that that wasn’t what I would have wanted for… you know. For our first time or whatever. I mean don’t get me wrong- I wanted it. I have for like- as long as I can remember. And I mean we were kinda working our way in that direction any ways, right?” Dean blurts out unable to hold back once he starts. He is suddenly worried that maybe Cas wasn’t ready for that yet, the guys only had sex once as far as he knows.

 _Oh god, what if he took advantage of Cas? What if…what if he did the same thing April did_?

Suddenly Dean feels like he is going to throw up, the bile pushes up and he feels horrified.

“Dean,” Cas says his name like he always does. Like it’s a benediction.

He looks up at Cas and sees so much affection reflected in those _ridiculously_ blue eyes that he swallows down his guilt and waits.

“I can’t say that it was how I had hoped for us to make love either.” And Dean can’t help but blush when he hears Cas say _make love_ \- “But if I am perfectly honest – I was determined to take you to bed last night regardless.” Cas says it so matter-of-factly that it brooks no argument from Dean who shoots him a quizzical look.

“Dean you looked so beautiful, I was sure I was going to end up smiting several people for undressing you with their eyes last night. I have never felt so… _envious_ before. Is that normal? Do all humans feel this way?” Cas looks a little distraught at having experienced one of the more base human emotions.

Dean cringes when Cas calls him beautiful but smiles when he realizes that he wasn’t the only jealous one “Two things Sunshine- I’m not beautiful, I’m handsome, or hot. Either one works. I’m a dude.” That earns him an eye roll from Cas that screams “I have had your dick in me- so I got that memo”. Dean gets a little distracted at that thought and coughs to clears his mind. “Second- I was going to beat that Abercrombie douche bag up if he so much as looked at you again, I haven’t felt that kind of rage since the Mark- so you’re not alone there. That’s jealousy for you, it ain't pretty but sometimes you can’t help it”

Cas gives him a wry smile. “So, you were planning on seducing me before that thing put the whammy on us?” Dean clarifies.

“Yes. I didn’t do anything I regret Dean. It didn’t _make_ me do anything- it just pushed me to do what I already wanted to. _Have_ wanted to for quite some time.” Cas looks at Dean and colors a little at the last admission.

“Okay. Yeah, I mean same here. It’s like we got drunk on ghost or something. Lost our inhibitions for a bit?” Dean expounds in his usual elegance, feeling relieved to hear Cas say it.

“Exactly. I only regret that it happened _before_ we could do it on our own terms. But I do not regret spending the night with you. In fact, I enjoyed it immensely.” And Cas gives Dean a downright dirty look that has Dean shifting his suddenly interested dick around.

“Oh, that so? I guess spending the whole night coming my brains out wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me on the job.” Dean shoots back trying to regain control of the situation with levity. "We got a nice head start on making up for lost time tho right?" 

“Listen-before this goes where I hope it’s going I just want to say; this is _it_ for me Cas.” Dean swallows loudly and wipes his free hand over the day-old stubble on his chin. “I mean it was _fantastic_ sex, but that’s not all it was. You get that right?” He looks at Cas and tries to will the Angel to see what he can’t bring himself to say just yet.

“Are you asking me to “go steady” Dean Winchester?” Cas deadpans with his absurd air quotes that he is using correctly for the first time ever. Dean loses it. He bursts out laughing and it’s the real kind, the laugh that boils up from your stomach and has you fold over out of sheer delight. Cas joins him and soon they are both gasping for air trying to calm down.

“Dick” Dean gets out before descending into another fit at the indignant look Cas has on his face. Then in a blur, that’s too fast for even Deans seasoned hunting instincts Cas is straddling his lap and pining his hands above his head. He leans down and whispers into Deans' ear “What about dick?” and _god_ if it’s not the hottest thing that has ever happened to Dean.

He is suddenly so hard his cock is pressing into the zipper of his jeans painfully. He can feel Cas’ lips ghost along the shell of his ear and he moans. He doesn’t even feel shame – _no one_ could hold back with a lap full of sexy angel and Dean is only human.

Dean turns his head and captures those petulant lips with his mouth and just like that the passion heats up and boils over. His head is swimming and Cas lets go of his wrists and grabs the front of his shirt. He threads one hand into the dark thick mop of hair he has adored for years and uses his other arm to pull Cas’ torso flush with his. Cas _growls_ when their rigid cocks slide against each other through thick denim and Dean almost blows his load right then.

They strip each other in a frenzy of hands and lips and sounds that he is suddenly really glad no one else can hear because it is downright pornographic. They fall back on the bed, _their bed_ – in a tangle of limbs.

Cas spreads his legs wider for Dean to slot between and Dean pulls away from where he is pretty sure he just left a hickey on Cas’ neck.  He looks down at this man, this angel who has managed to make Dean feel things he never knew he was capable of. He suddenly wants to say _something_ , _anything, everything -_ he feels like there should be words but they fail him. Instead, he says in a breathy voice that surprises him, “Hey Cas, can you still do that mind reading thing?”

“You mean that thing you told me to never do again?” Cas quirks his eyebrow at Dean, he gets a little impatient when he is turned on Dean has learned.

“Yeah, that thing.” Dean blushes.

Cas just nods and waits for Dean to explain.

“Ok, cool. Um. Could you …I don’t know. I mean… Could you look -right now.” Dean, ever the wordsmith stammers out, a flush spreading all the way down to his chest.

Cas’ face softens and his mouth falls open in surprise. He looks at Dean. And it’s that intense piercing look he used to give him when he was all “Angel of the Lord” when they first met. That look that left Dean laid bare for the Angel, the look the sees everything. All of it.

A tear starts rolling from Cas’ suddenly wet eyes and he looks rapturous. He looks at Dean like he just hung the moon, which is ridiculous cause Cas probably knows who did. He looks stunned. Like he suddenly understands everything and that it’s all beautiful. Cas reaches his hand up and cups Deans cheek in his soft palm. It's only then that Dean realizes that he has tears streaming down his own face.

“I love you too Dean. And I am not going anywhere ever again. I’m home.” And Dean has to kiss him again because Cas _knows_. He knows Dean can’t say any of that but he _knows_. Cas knows and feels the same way and he doesn’t make Dean say it. Dean swears he will never love anyone or anything as much as he does Cas at this moment.

They make love, tangled in the sheets that Dean picked out at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Sheets that Sam made fun of because they _matched_ his comforter. Cas falls asleep in Deans arms on the memory foam that is the only other thing he is ever sharing Cas’ body with.

Dean dreams of forever that night. Picking up a cat at the shelter because he knows it’s something that would make Cas happy. Showering together after spending the day digging in the dirt outside, planting flowers for the bees that Cas raises. Going on hunts together and never picking up another faceless body for comfort after a hard day but losing himself in the arms of his lover. He dreams of picking out a ring at a pawn shop and nonchalantly slipping in on Cas’ finger after pancakes. Of how Sammy will freak out over the “big step” but knowing that Cas was always going to be it for him. Of Mary calling Cas her son in law and of Sam’s kids calling them uncles. Of Claire teasing him for being the world’s lamest stepdad. Of Jody quietly telling him, she is proud of him. He doesn’t have a nightmare that night.

Or any night for the rest of his life, because he falls asleep curled up in the arms of his very own Guardian Angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did you like? Feedback is like catnip for writers. So please leave some.
> 
> AN: the case from this episode is based very heavily and in some parts word for word on the Buffy episode "Where the Wild things are". I don't own BTVS or SPN I just like to play with the characters.


End file.
